This Post Will Not Bring Obvious Value

When frustration reveals the need for radical change

Jul 17, 2025

I’ve been indecisive.

I’ve been feeling like my focus has been in the “wrong” places.

Don’t get me wrong, I can see I do move forward with things (for the most part) but I have also felt frustrated.

Why are the results anticipated not here yet?

“Sometimes I want to burn it all down and start over” said a friend recently. They then wanted to withdraw these words they felt so raw. “Your words are safe with me” I said to them.

And Sometimes I look at everything I’ve created, and I want to burn it down and start over too.

Right now, my content creation ecosystem is a little complex. I have:

1 website
2 bio sites
1 whatsapp group
1 luma newsletter
1 substack
2 youtube channels (dormant for the exception of two recent youtube lives)
2 insta accounts (approx 1 post a week if that)
1 tiktok (dormant)
Linked in
Probably forgetting something

And then my offering is all the more complex:

Free moments of connection (non dogmatic meditation): online, live and recorded
14 days of love automation (whatsapp): meditation and journalling
Cycles Alchemy 5 weeks programme (online container, currently 121 want to bring to group).
In person ceremonies
In person moon circles
In person Corporate Mindfulness events
Private events (birthday, bachelorette,…): ceremonies and card readings.
Yoga classes (in person, private groups)

And that’s not mentioning the consultancy I do for Luxury Hotels…

It’s all A LOT.

And SO COMPLEX.

And yet it’s all connected. Yes, even the consultancy is about the heart!

I don’t want to follow a strategy, and I’m making it all the more difficult for myself, FOR SURE.

I bring strategy to businesses… Why don’t I do it for myself?

Because I believe in intuition, and I believe in creative chaos as a way to truly birth the Pearl. From grit… to grace. As my Rebecca Campbell’s Oracle card says.

I want to make sense of it all and there’s an inner resistance… don’t want to fit it on a spreadsheet! There’s no spreadsheet big enough for this! Where do I begin?!

Ah…

Frustration…

Lovely emotion.

To feel this emotion is a gift. A message. That something needs to shift.

So… I sit with it.

I sit with it, with love. In a loving embrace, without hiding, without shaming,…

What is it that I really care about right now?

It can’t be everything, and it doesn’t need to be just one thing either.

I sometimes feel like the energy is pulsating super strongly out of my body. As if wanting to be expressed and rippled.

I thought I was expressing myself here but it’s something else.

Connecting, not consuming.

Creating, not producing.

Sharing, not charging.

Containers. Like Minded Souls. Changemakers. Earth Keepers. Truth Keepers. Love Activists. Leaders.

The perfectionist path isn’t an easy one. As I am writing those words thinking “Is it too self centered?” “Where is the value here?” I know we have been conditioned.

Conditioned to believe that everything needs to have value for another otherwise it’s not worth existing.

Conditioned to believe that everything needs to be measured to exist.

Conditioned to believe that the path is linear.

Conditioned to believe in scarcity.

Conditioned to believe in competition.

Conditioned to spend more time focusing on worst case scenari than best case.

Conditioned to believe that we have control.

Conditioned to believe that control is power.

Conditioned to believe that emotion is weak.

Conditioned to believe that we need to fit in.

I am really tired of this conditioning. So I’m using the fire energy in the air to burn it.

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