From Unworthiness To Radical Self-Love

When The Mirror Of Another Sheds Light On Your Insecurities

How many times in your life have you felt like someone said something against you?

And how many times did you ask yourself maybe they just said something and you interpreted it as “it’s against me”?

And how many times did you go further and realised, “oh my own inner critic is feeding off this person’s words and creating this tale that I am really X”

And X might be “not enough” or “too much” or “not desirable” or “not lovable”…

Our mind has the power to create stories that feed off the narrative of our own insecurities. And sometimes it’s using what someone has said, not said, done or not done as a way to tell this story. More importantly, our mind has the power to create a reality that validates these stories!

We live our lives meeting the mirrors of others. And sometimes these mirrors feed us nourishing reflections and other times, not so much.

The real discomfort happens when you meet someone and suddenly all your insecurities are switched on alert, not in a way that says “this person is unsafe” but more like “we really want this person to like us we need to hide” (yes I speak to myself at the third person sometimes…) or even “this person can see through us omg omg, go hide those shameful parts, save yourself”.

And because I’ve dedicated this year, this life, to truly embody love. It always takes me back to self-love. Radical self-love.

I thought I was living a life as an ode to my own love, human body, spirit soul and vibrant heart.

And yet one encounter, it’s not even about the who or what they said or didn’t say but what I felt in their presence: deep longing, to be seen, desired and held and wanting to runaway and hide at the same time.

This was two months ago, what a gift to realise that I was safe enough to feel this that day. How grateful I am for this person whom I haven’t seen since to reflect this work still to be done for myself. It’s a life-long journey for sure.

After two months of hosting friends, expanding my network and my net worth (not financially but internally), after taking my new old car on roads that I never thought I could drive, and meeting kindred souls and moving past my comfort zone in many ways, I feel I have arrived somewhere… within myself.

I feel right now a sense of completeness. It doesn’t tend to last but at least I can anchor it in.

Sure, it’s nice to see your worth reflected in the mirrors of others who validate you. And when you can truly validate this just by waking up in the morning and holding your body with genuine gratitude, looking at yourself in the mirror in awe and admiration for these eyes that see deeply, this belly that digests so much, these legs that move you places, these hands that extend from your heart to hold others… to give and receive love.

WOW.

Life right now feels so FULL. It’s about to get fuller. I feel it. And I welcome it all. Because nothing I’ve been told until now comes close to what is possible.

And I will hold it all, not in a linear, scheduled, planned way but in a trusting way.

If you’re curious about the path to self-love I recommend signing up to the 14 days of love journey with daily meditations and journaling cues sent via whatsapp.

Self-love these last few months didn’t look like treating myself to nourishing food or looking after my body or even mirror work. My self-love showed up in times of doubt, loneliness, fear and moments where I wanted to hide in shame, in moments where my inner critic wanted to recite the most debilitating statements ever said.

Self-love held me in those moments and I showed myself that whatever happens in life, I have got this. Even in moments of uncertainty and doubt, I can stay true to my own heart and values and really hold myself with gratitude for journeying there.

I am infinitely limitless.

How do you show up with self-love in the moments where you want that validation to come from the external world?

How do YOU cultivate self-love?

Here’s a self-love guide.

Here’s a self-love meditation.

Here’s the full 14 days journey.

Photo by Mathilde Langevin on Unsplash